Today I took a long walk around our farm. It’s very private and it’s not uncommon to find me walking around talking out loud to God, trees, animals and myself. (Try that in a subdivision!) I especially love our farm after the hay has been cut because I can explore solitary spots. For the first part of the walk I thought about all of the things that have been weighing heavily on my mind. I walked up and down hills, thinking and talking out loud to myself.
You should know that I am a classic “over-thinker”. My husband frequently has to tell me to stop over-processing everything. These days I feel a little like Elva from the Eragon series. She was a little girl that Eragon, the dragon rider, intended to bless, but ended up cursing instead, because didn’t know his ancient language conjugations. (Study your Latin, kids!) As a result, instead of being “shielded” she became a shield. She felt the pain of everyone around her and could not help but take it on herself. I feel like that a lot. I feel the agony of others and then I go into thinking mode. I worry and try to figure everything out.
So, as I walked, on this particular day, I was feeling the anxieties and worries of one of my children. I was trying to think of ways to encourage this child. I was struck by the thought that God has a plan. He loves my child more than I am capable of, and He alone knows the future. And so I sat on a beautiful hillside and prayed for my child. I thanked God for them, I prayed for the present and I prayed for the future. I prayed for their heart and mind. I prayed that they would love the Lord and seek Him above all else.
After I prayed, I sat there and enjoyed the quietness around me. I rarely feel like things are quiet, because, even if the world is, my brain is still chattering. But, in this instance, even my mind was still. I know that I can trust God with my children’s lives. It was a relief to talk to my Heavenly Father about these things.
I realized that all of my worrying and thinking is not helpful. In fact, it is counterproductive. So, here is my resolve: When the temptation to worry and over think comes, I am going to stop the chatter and pray. That’s going to be by new slogan! I’m going to post it everywhere so that I won’t forget.