Don’t Lose Me

Don’t Lose Me

I just posted two old blogs that I wrote as we were in the process of adding our “baby” to our family. He’s four-years-old now and is a bundle of fun. He’s wild and silly, very affectionate, and naughty. Three years later and I still can’t believe he’s mine.

Those posts reminded me of something that he said the other day. He’s been going through a bit of an insecure phase. I have noticed with my children that have been adopted a little older that they hit a place like this at around three or four. He cries when I leave him, even with teachers that he is familiar with. He gets scared when he cannot see me or somebody in the immediate family. I know that he can’t really remember being abandoned at the hospital, or he can’t remember those months with nobody but NICU nurses to look after him. I know that he probably doesn’t even remember being moved from his loving foster family to ours. But, there is an insecurity there nonetheless.  In recent weeks he has said things like, “You are my mom.” I am not sure if he was reminding me, himself or just making a statement. I always respond with, “Yep! I’m your mom. Forever and ever!” I sense that he needs that reassurance.

What he said the other night melted my heart. He crawled in bed with me. He was holding my hand and as he was dozing off he said, “Mommy, don’t lose me.” I hugged him and kissed him and promised him that I never would, and that I would be his mommy forever. I love him so.

2 thoughts on “Don’t Lose Me

  1. My foster-adopt daughter was three when she came into our family. She had conscious memories of her bio family for a while, which have now become unconscious. She recently confided in her therapist she is scared that we won’t come back when she can’t see us. It is good your son has this fear because it shows he has attached to you. Although it sounds mean, I was glad my daughter said this because she has RAD, and this comment showed she has attached to us on some level.


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